This new, vastly expanded and enriched version of 'The Official Rules' presents precisely 5,427 laws, principles, rules, proverbs, and aphorisms collected by Paul Dickson and the esteemed Fellows of the Murphy Center for the Codification of Human and Organizational Law. This often amusing, sometimes profound, collection of 'official rules' was gathered one rule at a time over more than forty years from pundits, prophets, and everyday folks. It provides a means of coping in a world of human error and foibles where nothing is ever as simple as it seems, everything takes longer than expected, and inanimate objects possess an innate perversity. In sum it is rich testimony to the resiliency of the human spirit in facing the pitfalls and potholes of modern life. Though the vast majority of these life lessons were gathered in the 20th century, they are still timely and concise enough to fit inside the framework of a tweet. Recognizing the humor in adversity, these comic truths encourage acceptance of life's little imperfections. For example, Agnes Allen's timeless law: Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.